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TRUMPIANITY: THE NEW CHRISTIAN BELIEF SYSTEM
I used to be a religious man. For many, many years I was involved with various churches and had side projects online. So, please know that I do write with a little bit of biblical knowledge and spiritual understanding.
However, I’m also going to be writing this as I try to view things from the outside of the Christian worldview. Through the lenses of an outsider, I will try to interpret what one might see when I look at America, as a nation and as a people.
But I don’t mean America’s laws and statutes. Nor do I mean its prosperity and poverty.
I mean, I’m going to look at the 2016-2020 (and 2020-2024?) years in the context that Christians say that this country is religiously Christian, its laws come from Christian values, and our current president, Donald J. Trump, is a Christian man.
If I have never read the Bible or knew its claims and commands, what would the Trump presidency say about Christianity and what Christians endorse?
If Donald Trump is the Christian national leader, then we need to interpret Christianity through these lenses. After all, these are their claims, not mine.
RACE
Strangely, the Christian party in America is solely the Republican Party. While there are some exceptions, the Republican Party is mostly white and Caucasian. Black and Hispanic Christians who belong to the Democratic Party are misled, in the traditional, white Christian point of view.
To Trumpian Christians, they might not even go to Heaven.
Those within the Democratic Party usually are black, Hispanic, working class, poor, or are younger. Trumpian Christians are against these groups.
However, if they find themselves within one or more of these categories, they will make an excuse on why they are not like their peers who are also either black, Hispanic, working class, poor, or younger.
Regarding race, they might say they’re fine with other colors of people, but it’s usually only if that person is some variance of “Christian” in belief. Most die-hard Trumpian Christians are Protestant, but they will tolerate a Catholic here and there.
But, as long as that person is not a Muslim.
The other Abraham-based religion (Judaism) is okay to them, because Jesus was Jewish. This strikes me weird because Muslims actually acknowledge Jesus in their holy book; the Jews’ holy book does not. Nevertheless, Trumpian Christians dislike Islam and its followers.
Trumpian Christians once were Mitt Romney followers, let us not forget. This means that Christians are okay with Mormons, and even Scientologists.
Doctrinal, this doesn’t make sense, but it is what it is.
SEXUALITY
Per the religious right’s triumph of Donald Trump, I never thought I’d see this one coming, but the new theology on sex and sexuality is both new and old.
The old first: even though Jesus hadn’t spoken anything against men that have sex with men and women that have sex with women, Christianity nowadays still are against it. Tradition.
Some could cite chapter and verse of some Old Testament theology, but most of the Old Testament is not held in as high regard by most believers.
Verses that appear to speak against homosexuality and sodomy bookends with other verses like not eating lobster or crab, not having menstrual sex, cutting or shaving your beard, and not gossiping. Apparent homosexuality is on the same level as these other rules. The book of Romans also forbids things Christians blatantly do, so I assume that while they speak out against it, they secretly will do it behind closed doors.
And now with the new: Christianity allows at least three marriages (as in Trump’s case…and Rush Limbaugh’s), and one can be married to an illegal alien from another country who comes here under false pretenses, such as applying for an deceptive visa.
However, Jesus didn’t say much about marriage except for not ending a marriage. But this new, Trumpian Christianity allows for this.
Now, you can you put two wives aside in divorce so that they can biblically be called adulterers; for whoever sets aside their wife causes her to become an adulterer, via the words of one of the gospel writers.
No matter if you have one, two, or three different wives, New Christianity allows you to cheat on any and all of the wives. We aren’t exactly sure if it’s cheating if you pay for sex, in or outside of court.
To a woman or teen girl with that you’re not married, you can just go up to them and grab their private areas. You really can, in Trumpian Christianity. And no one is to speak up against this, because they are supposed to let you do it. This is especially celebrated if you’re financially well off.
If your daughter is quite a looker, it’s important to Trumpian Christians to let the world know that she is a hottie and if you were able to, you’d date and have sex with her, just as Noah’s daughters did with Noah after surviving the great flood.
Pay no attention to the “modest is hottest” craze, which is probably passe now in church circles. If you’re the wife of a Christian celebrity and president, you’re to be proud of your nude modeling. Be best at it, even.
I personally believe that our bodies are normal and shouldn’t be shameful, but for centuries Christians have told us to shame our nudity and never been seen naked by anyone other than your opposite-gendered spouse. This is not so anymore.
We can now rock out with our cock (or vagina) out and still be called a model Christian, and we will even be treated like royalty for it.
Classy, as they put it.
PRAYER
It’s important for all religious believers to pray or meditate. Praying is talking to your god and he or she talks to you in return.
While Jesus had once said to pray only in private and that public announcements of prayer is hypocritical, it’s important to have many popular Christian leaders to surround you, place their hands on your suit jacket, and talk to their deity about you.
While it’s unknown if special magic occurs in these sessions, it provides great photo opportunities in order to convince those who say that you’re not religious into thinking that you actually are. The evidence is in the picture. You’re hyper-spiritual, especially if it’s a bunch of people that have their own planes, plus one hot blonde that reminds you of your daughter.
HUMILITY
As the saying goes, “I’m very humble … and I’m proud of it.” New Christianity defines this at its new depths. Everything about Trumpian Christianity points to itself and its puffed out chest.
Many Christians are not humble and meek. They tend to very loud, rude and indignant. Many self-professed religious people are not humble at all. But not all.
The Bible says to be otherwise, but this loud group of Christian people voted for the type of person that they like. They love him. They put his name on everything: flags, hats, lawn signs, shirts, tattoos. They look over their shoulders to their friends and exclaim, “Isn’t he great? He tells it like it is!”
However, you and I know that he’s a vulgar and vain man. And Christianity is endorsing this kind of behavior.
These Trumpian Christians are essentially telling their kids that this is the type of Christianity we want. This is the type of leader one should be, if they’re to be considered a man or woman of Christian ethics and morale.
I can launch hundreds of arguments against what they see as a good leader, but that’s not the point here in this piece. The point is to examine what new Christianity is and how it is to be represented by the leader of the 2016-2020 administration.
GENEROSITY
Giving has always been a value of Christians. They give to each other and they give to others outside of their circles.
Not anymore.
While Donald Trump claims to be a billionaire, there has been some dispute on exactly how liquid the man truly is. Whether or not he has lots of money, he is not a giving man.
He withholds payment for his taxes. He withholds payment to contractors who have worked for him. He withholds payment to his candidacy staff. He welshes on his bills.
He also doesn’t pay his taxes. While it can be argued that Jesus only paid his tax once (when he was caught not doing so), it doesn’t discount the fact that he isn’t doing his part to help the American machine run.
Example: About 52-58% of our federal tax goes to the military (it varies fiscal budget to fiscal budget). Trump claims that he loves the military. Christians—for whatever reason—say they “support the troops,” but their “Christian” leader doesn’t do so with his wallet.
This leads me to believe that New Christianity doesn’t support paying taxes.
It is also questionable if they even support the troops, since this “good businessman” can avoid paying for the military himself by not paying his federal taxes. Using Donald Trump’s actions as an example, Christians should no longer support the troops with their finances, but only in voiced words.
Evangelicals love and worship this man and say that he does no wrong. He is a “smart businessman,” which means adoring evangelicals endorse this behavior.
To the Christian right, you don’t have to render to Caesar what is Caesar’s. You don’t have to pay what is due others. This is the financial aspect of New Christianity.
HONESTY
The Bible says to “let your yes be yes and your no be no.” And that’s not all. Lying and bearing false witness is a theme throughout the whole Bible, from the book of Exodus to the Revelation of “John.” In the gospel of “Matthew,” lying is grouped in with sexual immorality, murder, and theft.
Apparently, with the leader of America and the religious right constantly being caught with lies, fibs, and truth omissions, the art of the lie is a necessity to be spiritual. The Bible’s many parts that command for truth to be wielded can be removed. Deception is the new Christian value.
All the fact-checking and debunking done by truth-mongers are tools of the devil, according to the religious right. Truth is fake news, and lies are no longer conspiracy. In Trumpian Christianity, truth is only what you wish to be true.
Soothsaying used to be against the Christian god’s laws, but now it’s virtue.
FAMILY
The religious right have for years said that they are the “family values party.” This usually means that they are anti-abortion. Various exceptions may be allowed, depending on the sect, cult, or denomination. The term they loosely use is “pro-life.”
Though they use the term, they usually aren’t pro-life in matters outside of fetuses. These same people are pro-death penalty and pro-war. They often call for those who differ than them to be put to death. Stealing? Kill him! Protesting? Kill him! Vandalism? Kill him! Loitering? Kill him!
It’s very strange that this is considered okay coming from a Christian mouth or avatar. If not death, they are quite alright with families suffering. No job? Starve! No insurance? Be sick! No car? Get a job. No money? May your child die!
Family values must mean something quite different to me.
I believe if you value any and all families, you want them to do well. You want them to be healthy, advancing in society, steadily employed, fed well, educated, sheltered and stable.
Not with new Christianity. Trumpian Christianity is a hands off approach. Don’t feed the hungry, though Jesus commanded it. Don’t clothe the poor, though Jesus commanded it. Don’t visit the imprisoned, though Jesus commanded it. Don’t love the foreigners, though Jesus commanded it.
No. With this new form of Christianity, you can separate families, lose children, allow parents to suffer, assist in the death of the uninsured, arrest undocumented employees, and tell those in the inner city and at exit ramps with cardboard signs to go fuck themselves.
It doesn’t matter if the system provides very little help for many. But what help it does provide, get rid of it, so that the money can be channeled into the war machine. This is New Christianity. This is the new family values: my family, not everyone else’s.
CONCLUSION
I know this article sounded ridiculous, but these are ridiculous times. The Christian church has given itself to a man (and administration) that represents nothing of what the Jesus of the Bible talks about. Everything that we have heard Christianity represents has been perverted, ignored, or changed in order to justify its alignment with Donald Trump.
He is not a Christian as exampled in the Bible or by friends and family. He is not a kind, caring, generous, pure person. He is the opposite of this. As is his lifestyle and worldview.
When Christians endorsed this man and practically made this adulterous jerk their new King, they showed their bare hides. From the outside looking in as a non-religious non-theist, I can only assume that this is a new form of Christianity.
And the King is an asshole, then the followers must be assholes, too.
Steve Dustcircle 
You write “If Donald Trump is the Christian national leader, then we need to interpret Christianity through these lenses. After all, these are their claims, not mine.”” which would be a disaster. Perhaps this is how the majority of conservative and fundamentalist Christians would see Christendom (and not Christianity)
Donald Trump is totally the opposite of what a Christian should be and how a Christian should behave. In the last few years, we in Europe could see how the Trumpists, Teaparty members, Creationists and all other name Christians behaved not in accord with the bible. The biggest problem is first that they worship another god than christ worshipped (because they have made Jesus into their god and do a lot of idolatry) and secondly they do lots of things against the teachings of Christ, spreading fear and hate.
You also write: “The Christian church has given itself to a man (and administration) that represents nothing of what the Jesus of the Bible talks about. but once again you should have indicated “the American Church” if you meant that church, though even that would be exaggerated and doing a lot of injustice to the many real Christians (the non-trinitarian communities) as well as to the trinitarian churches which preach peace and make an effort of bringing the Gospel of the coming Kingdom of God.
Once more you also write ” I can only assume that this is a new form of Christianity.” but here again you probably mean Christendom. NOtifying that absurd tendency in the United States of America, but luckily not in the other churches in the world.
The article is meant to be tongue-in-cheek, almost satire. I appreciate your input and can agree with most of it in the most general sense. Most Christians I know are decent people and reluctantly voted for Trump. This essay is a stab at those that speak peace and love with their mouths but follow (with utter devotion) a man who is anything but “Christian.”